What We Envy… #2

Welcome to another What We Envy…! Before you continue on, I get really intense about certain things that make me really mad, and I type a lot, so if you want to click out now, I advise it. If you want to continue on and read, I really appreciate. This What We Envy… is about fake WWE fans, or I guess, fake wrestling fans in general. I’ve witnessed all of these myself, and in no way am I making it up. I have 10 different fake WWE fans that really make me angry, and I decided to share them with you through a What We Envy… This post, not only, will feature a lot of words, but also a lot of sarcastic CM Punk memes. That was your second warning. If you have any other kinds of fake wrestling fans that you’ve encountered, comment them and I can throw them up in this post at the end! Anyway, I present to you, What We Envy… About Fake WWE Fans.

Fake WWE Fan #1 – The Try Harder

Okay, so this one really annoys me. There have been a handful of people that have commented on my wrestling shirts, and that immediately gets my attention, but then the hit me with this: “Oh, I’m a huge fan of WWE, but I don’t watch it.” Like, I get that some people have stopped watching because it’s gotten terrible, but when someone has never watched it and claims to be a fan really annoys me. Some have claimed to me that they follow it through WWE’s Twitter account and the WWE Universe account, but does that really matter? Maybe it’s just me, but I think that if you’re a wrestling fan, you should at least watch RAW or SmackDown, or the occasional pay-per-view and keep up with what’s going on. I know dozens of wrestling fans that only watch pay-per-views because, for them, watching three hours of RAW is grueling, but they watch pay-per-views. I’m talking about these people that have seen maybe one pay-per-view, and that’s it, but they’re claiming to be this hardcore, best fan out there. That’s like me saying, “oh, I’m a fan of certain football team, but I don’t watch them, I follow them on Twitter though.” I just don’t think it makes any sense.

Fake WWE Fan #2 – The Cenation Follower

I guess this one bugs me the most recently because John Cena is so well known in pop culture nowadays, but he didn’t used to be. Don’t get me wrong, I love John Cena as a person, but I despise him as a wrestler. Anyway, there are some people that I’ve talked to, because I’ve worn John Cena shirts before, that love my shirts. I started talking to this one girl, and she went on about how she loved watching John Cena wrestle and how she used to have a toothbrush that sang his entrance music. Then, I asked her about other superstars, and she told me she only knew John Cena. I’ve encountered this situation so many times. I’ve known people that say they’re major wrestling fans, and that they love John Cena, but they don’t know anyone else who wrestles. Now, because of all his pop culture knowledge, everyone knows John Cena, but nobody knows what he’s from. I’ve asked people how they know the John Cena references and they can only tell me Vine, not that he’s a wrestler, and some people don’t even know that. I guess that’s just the world we live in now.

Fake WWE Fan #3 – New Day Rocks SUCKS

Yes, I hate the New Day, and you’re probably wondering how I have any say in this, but I’ll explain as I go. There are people out there who I’ve personally talked to who claim New Day sucks because “there is nothing great about musical instruments and unicorn horns in the ring.” Yeah… So, let me explain, I don’t hate the New Day because Xavier Woods plays the trombone or because they wear unicorn horns on their head. I hate them because I just never got behind them. They started annoying me with their lame promo videos for their debut, they annoy me because they’re heels whose characters don’t portray heels. No heel in history has been that colourful or that strange, but I don’t mind it that bad. I don’t like how they’re the only ones leading the tag team division. In my opinion, the tag team championship should change hands on RAW, it should be held for two pay-per-views or three and then changed. That’s the only real way to keep them relevant. Anyway, back to these fake fans… I hate people that, one, assume that wrestling is dumb because of superstars like the New Day, and two, people who think New Day is terrible simply because of their appearance. They’re great wrestlers inside the ring, and they’re great on the mic, however, people don’t know that until they watch them, and I’ve seen people talk terribly about them who don’t know anything they’re talking about.

Fake WWE Fan #4 – Nice Shirt!

I guess these aren’t necessarily fake fans, but sometimes they are. Some people will misjudge a wrestling shirt as just a cool pop culture shirt, but when people acknowledge that they know it’s a wrestling shirt, and then go on to call it a random superstar’s shirt bug me. Here’s an example:

Person: Nice wrestling shirt!
Me: Thanks!
Person: Is that Finn Balor or whatever his name is?
Me: No… it’s an Undertaker shirt.
Person: Oh, yeah, that guy…

If you’re going to say that it’s a wrestling shirt, be sure you know what you’re talking about. This really bugs me because then it’s really awkward afterwards because they were so confident and I just shut them down. There are also some people that say they want to buy a superstar’s shirt or a specific shirt, and I ask them if they know whose shirt it is and they have no idea. I mean, I buy wrestling shirts simply because I think they look cool, but I make sure I know whose it is before I buy it. I guess some people don’t care enough to do that.

Fake WWE Fan #5 – Oooh, That’s Gotta Hurt!

Okay, before I start this one, I have to say that I’ve pretty much always known that wrestling was fake, or staged. I mean, when I was a kid, I probably didn’t, but since then, I’ve known. Anyway, I wouldn’t necessarily jump to call these types of fans fake, but I wanted to touch on them. I think it was at the very first RAW I went to that a kid sitting two seats next to me was constantly talking about how this kick or that punch was going to hurt in the morning, like it was real. I don’t get how some people don’t know that wrestling isn’t real, it’s scripted. Not all the hits are real hits, not all the kicks actually hit someone in the face, not everything has contact.

Fake WWE Fan #6 – Just Because…

I get people that hate superstars, and I get that people like superstars, but I hate when people’s reasons are “just because.” Again, this isn’t really fake fans, but I wanted to touch on this as well. I think for every superstar I’ve ever liked, I’ve been able to give a reason, yes, some of those reasons include looks, but it’s better than “just because,” right? I don’t get how you can just like a wrestler without any rhyme or reason for it. This is almost as bad as people calling a wrestler they like cool. “I like him because he’s cool, you know?” No, I don’t know because that’s what I used to tell people as a compliment when I couldn’t think of anything else. Yeah, you’re cool, I guess.

Fake WWE Fan #7 – What’s A Storyline?

This kind of goes along with the first one, but here it is! I have encountered people that say they’re these major wrestling fans and that this guy is his favourite and whatnot, and then I ask them how they feel about the way this superstar is being used or how this championship is being handled, and they have no idea what I’m talking about. But I thought you were a fan? Oh, you don’t know any storylines, I thought you watched wrestling? This really annoys me because it’s like, why lie? I don’t get it, I really don’t.

These next three, I’m going to cluster together because they’re really similar.

Fake WWE Fan #8 – Yeah, That Guy!
Fake WWE Fan #9 – That One Move, You Know?
Fake WWE Fan #10 – That One Guy

There are people out there that ask me if “that one guy” still wrestles. Like what? Yeah, sure, that one guy. If you don’t know a superstar’s name, don’t talk about them! If you don’t know the name of a move, don’t talk about it! You know that one guy who does that one move? Yeah, you mean THE ENTIRE ROSTER? I seriously don’t understand how people can talk like this. “That one guy…” or “that one move..” just doesn’t cut it. There’s an endless amount of possibilities that it could be. I can’t have a conversation with people like that. I just give up so easily once those words come out of someone’s mouths.

Anyway, before I write for another like 8 hours, I’m going to stop here. If you’ve encountered any of these types of people, I’m sorry, because I understand. I hope you enjoyed this little rant in the style of a What We Envy… Thanks for reading all the way to the end if you did! I really appreciate it! I’ll be posting a lot more about WWE in the following few months, and I hope you return for those! Follow me on Twitter, @graveyardpxnk, for semi live tweets about WWE events, WWE storylines, rumors, and puppy videos!

“I pride myself on being a jerk because I’m brutally honest all the time!” – CM Punk

What We Envy… #1

Welcome back to Outside the Brass Ring!

Over the past few months, I’ve realized that WWE creative and I don’t see eye to eye on a lot of topics, which brings me here of course. I figured instead of tweeting and tweeting about how much certain things bug me, I’d come here and compile a list of things and post them for anyone to read. Of course, this will continue on and on because I know there will be things that I hate later on in WWE. So with that, I bring you What We Envy… about creative!

STARDUST OR CODY?

When Cody Rhodes became Stardust, members of the WWE Universe began chanting “Cody! Cody! Cody!” This made Stardust freak out in the ring and lose himself in the match. It created a more insane character in the ring and caused him to lose his mind. With becoming Stardust, Cody Rhodes began painting his face similarly to the style of his brother, Goldust. He also began wearing a costume that was similar to his brother as well. Him and his brother fought as a tag team for a while, which was the start of Cody ‘losing himself.’ He wasn’t Cody anymore, he was Stardust. In wrestling, superstars endure character changes all the time. However, only some of them get the crowd chanting their original name. Tensai for example, endured match after match of crowds chanting ‘Prince Albert.’ But then there are dozens of superstars that jump through character changes without a sound from the WWE Universe. Curtis Axel? Yeah, he used to be Michael McGillicutty. Bray Wyatt? He used to be Husky Harris. Why doesn’t the WWE Universe chant their names like they chant Cody’s?

Undertaker Winning Dirty

Did you expect any different from WWE? They couldn’t give Lesnar the win, there would’ve been no payout. They could’t give Taker a clean win, there would’ve been no payout. The only way to give either of them a payout would’ve been to have a dirty win, and it had to be Taker. It was the only way. When Taker tapped, he knew Lesnar would feel it, without the referee seeing it. Brock let his guard down, allowing Taker to take advantage and get the win. Yes, Lesnar passing out while flipping off Taker was pretty lame, but hey, it wasn’t PG. This, I feel, was a win for both men. Brock didn’t tap out of get pinned, but Taker still won using his years of experience to outsmart Brock and the referee.

Divas Revolution or Same Divas Division?

This divas revolution started out great, but then it slowly got repetitive. Exactly how the divas division used to be. It;s the same format with new divas. They call it a divas revolution, but it hasn’t really evolved much from the old divas division. Plus, they brought Sasha Banks up and she’s not really doing anything. Team B.A.D. is just that, BAD. They aren’t even relevant anymore . I don’t get how WWE can bring three of the best NXT divas up to the roster and still have boring storylines, oh wait, it’s WWE. If they really want a divas revolution, they should’ve had WWE vs NXT, a true NXT takeover.

Rollins Holding Two Titles

(This has since been resolved) I get that Seth Rollins is ‘the future of WWE,’ but was it really necessary to drop two titles on him? Things like this are the reasons that WWE superstars who need a push can’t get it. WWE creative puts all of their eggs in one basket because they don’t know how to get people engaged in more than on championship storyline at a time. They already made it hard for people to get pushed when they unified the WWE Championship and the World Heavyweight Championship. and now they have one man holding two titles. Now all RAW is is Seth Rollins, two divas matches, tag team garbage, most of the time, drama filled love squares, and a lot of squash matches.

Wrestling or Soap Operas?

When Lana, Summer Rae, Rusev, and Dolph Ziggler come on the screen, I begin to question whether I’m still watching RAW or my TV changed to a soap opera. Don’t get me wrong, Ziggler is still the man, but WWE doesn’t see that. They constantly put him in these stupid storylines that could be mistaken as amateur soap operas. Like seriously? Is all of this love sick jealousy drama really necessary? It’s gotten to be too much. There have been some great love storylines in WWE;

Lita

and Edge

and Matt Hardy,

Eve

and Zack Ryder

and John Cena,

AJ Lee

and Daniel Bryan

and CM Punk

… and Kane

… and John Cena

… and Dolph Ziggler

… yeah, I think that’s it.

But when you bring together Lana, Rusev, Summer Rae, and Dolph Ziggler; you’ve given yourself a recipe for disaster.

Terrible Tag Teams

There was so much hope for the tag teams come WrestleMania, but with The Usos being pulled with a shoulder inhury and Tyson and Cesaro falling apart shortly after, the hope is just gone. The Prime Time Players coming back was the tag team division’s saving grace, but their title reign was short lived. Other than them, there wasn’t really a calling for new champions when two of the greatest tag teams broke apart due to injuries. With the Dudley Boyz coming back as well, it brings a little more depth into the division, I hope. WWE hasn’t really given themselves much to work with; I mean, these teams have just become a joke now.

The New Day is dancing, trumpet-playing jokes.

Los Matadores have lost their touch.

The Lucha Dragons aren’t as exciting anymore.

And don’t even get me started on The Ascension.

The Prime Time Players are fire on commentary and that can easily be translated to promos; they’re amazing in the ring and have a great fan following. But with The Dudley Boyz coming back, and if WWE doesn’t screw up, they could single-handedly save the tag team division.

The Bellatron

With Nikki Bella getting closer and closer to AJ Lee’s record for the longest reigning divas champion, it was smelling of a title change. Just two weeks before breaking the record, Nikki created a bellatron which counted down the days, hours, minutes, and seconds until she broke it. The WWE teased everone by making a Beat The Clock tournament for the number one contendership, which Charlotte won. She had her match on the day that marked Nikki tying the record with AJ. However, WWE screwed up completely. Shocked? They gave Nikki the title and the record by a dirty win, twin magic. Of course, Brie got pinned when she snuck into the match, but the referee didn’t see it. Brie then rolled out of the ring, so she really couldn’t prove anything, but speak of the devil. Stephanie McMahon comes out and ruins everyone’s night. She claims that Charlotte won via DQ, and wouldn’t win the title, which meant Nikki retained. Seriously WWE? Was this really necessary? Yes, when AJ left, Nikki was there to hold up the divas division, but when you bring in the NXT divas, it begs for a title change. You bring up three worthy divas that could win over a crowd with holding the title, but you don’t give it to any of them. Yes, Charlotte won at Night of Champions, but what gave Nikki the qualifications of becoming the longest reigning divas champion of all time? Oh right, she’s dating John Cena.

If you agree or disagree with any of the things I talked about, leave a comment or tweet me! I’ve reopened my ask.fm for anyone who is interested in leaving a complaint they have about WWE, which I will include in my next What We Envy post! It doesn’t have to be creative or the WWE Universe, it can be anything to do with WWE! Thanks again for reading, and I’ll talk to you in my next post!

“To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.” – Joseph Chilton Pearce