Welcome to another What We Envy…! Before you continue on, I get really intense about certain things that make me really mad, and I type a lot, so if you want to click out now, I advise it. If you want to continue on and read, I really appreciate. This What We Envy… is about fake WWE fans, or I guess, fake wrestling fans in general. I’ve witnessed all of these myself, and in no way am I making it up. I have 10 different fake WWE fans that really make me angry, and I decided to share them with you through a What We Envy… This post, not only, will feature a lot of words, but also a lot of sarcastic CM Punk memes. That was your second warning. If you have any other kinds of fake wrestling fans that you’ve encountered, comment them and I can throw them up in this post at the end! Anyway, I present to you, What We Envy… About Fake WWE Fans.
Fake WWE Fan #1 – The Try Harder
Okay, so this one really annoys me. There have been a handful of people that have commented on my wrestling shirts, and that immediately gets my attention, but then the hit me with this: “Oh, I’m a huge fan of WWE, but I don’t watch it.” Like, I get that some people have stopped watching because it’s gotten terrible, but when someone has never watched it and claims to be a fan really annoys me. Some have claimed to me that they follow it through WWE’s Twitter account and the WWE Universe account, but does that really matter? Maybe it’s just me, but I think that if you’re a wrestling fan, you should at least watch RAW or SmackDown, or the occasional pay-per-view and keep up with what’s going on. I know dozens of wrestling fans that only watch pay-per-views because, for them, watching three hours of RAW is grueling, but they watch pay-per-views. I’m talking about these people that have seen maybe one pay-per-view, and that’s it, but they’re claiming to be this hardcore, best fan out there. That’s like me saying, “oh, I’m a fan of certain football team, but I don’t watch them, I follow them on Twitter though.” I just don’t think it makes any sense.
Fake WWE Fan #2 – The Cenation Follower
I guess this one bugs me the most recently because John Cena is so well known in pop culture nowadays, but he didn’t used to be. Don’t get me wrong, I love John Cena as a person, but I despise him as a wrestler. Anyway, there are some people that I’ve talked to, because I’ve worn John Cena shirts before, that love my shirts. I started talking to this one girl, and she went on about how she loved watching John Cena wrestle and how she used to have a toothbrush that sang his entrance music. Then, I asked her about other superstars, and she told me she only knew John Cena. I’ve encountered this situation so many times. I’ve known people that say they’re major wrestling fans, and that they love John Cena, but they don’t know anyone else who wrestles. Now, because of all his pop culture knowledge, everyone knows John Cena, but nobody knows what he’s from. I’ve asked people how they know the John Cena references and they can only tell me Vine, not that he’s a wrestler, and some people don’t even know that. I guess that’s just the world we live in now.
Fake WWE Fan #3 – New Day Rocks SUCKS
Yes, I hate the New Day, and you’re probably wondering how I have any say in this, but I’ll explain as I go. There are people out there who I’ve personally talked to who claim New Day sucks because “there is nothing great about musical instruments and unicorn horns in the ring.” Yeah… So, let me explain, I don’t hate the New Day because Xavier Woods plays the trombone or because they wear unicorn horns on their head. I hate them because I just never got behind them. They started annoying me with their lame promo videos for their debut, they annoy me because they’re heels whose characters don’t portray heels. No heel in history has been that colourful or that strange, but I don’t mind it that bad. I don’t like how they’re the only ones leading the tag team division. In my opinion, the tag team championship should change hands on RAW, it should be held for two pay-per-views or three and then changed. That’s the only real way to keep them relevant. Anyway, back to these fake fans… I hate people that, one, assume that wrestling is dumb because of superstars like the New Day, and two, people who think New Day is terrible simply because of their appearance. They’re great wrestlers inside the ring, and they’re great on the mic, however, people don’t know that until they watch them, and I’ve seen people talk terribly about them who don’t know anything they’re talking about.
Fake WWE Fan #4 – Nice Shirt!
I guess these aren’t necessarily fake fans, but sometimes they are. Some people will misjudge a wrestling shirt as just a cool pop culture shirt, but when people acknowledge that they know it’s a wrestling shirt, and then go on to call it a random superstar’s shirt bug me. Here’s an example:
Person: Nice wrestling shirt!
Me: Thanks!
Person: Is that Finn Balor or whatever his name is?
Me: No… it’s an Undertaker shirt.
Person: Oh, yeah, that guy…
If you’re going to say that it’s a wrestling shirt, be sure you know what you’re talking about. This really bugs me because then it’s really awkward afterwards because they were so confident and I just shut them down. There are also some people that say they want to buy a superstar’s shirt or a specific shirt, and I ask them if they know whose shirt it is and they have no idea. I mean, I buy wrestling shirts simply because I think they look cool, but I make sure I know whose it is before I buy it. I guess some people don’t care enough to do that.
Fake WWE Fan #5 – Oooh, That’s Gotta Hurt!
Okay, before I start this one, I have to say that I’ve pretty much always known that wrestling was fake, or staged. I mean, when I was a kid, I probably didn’t, but since then, I’ve known. Anyway, I wouldn’t necessarily jump to call these types of fans fake, but I wanted to touch on them. I think it was at the very first RAW I went to that a kid sitting two seats next to me was constantly talking about how this kick or that punch was going to hurt in the morning, like it was real. I don’t get how some people don’t know that wrestling isn’t real, it’s scripted. Not all the hits are real hits, not all the kicks actually hit someone in the face, not everything has contact.
Fake WWE Fan #6 – Just Because…
I get people that hate superstars, and I get that people like superstars, but I hate when people’s reasons are “just because.” Again, this isn’t really fake fans, but I wanted to touch on this as well. I think for every superstar I’ve ever liked, I’ve been able to give a reason, yes, some of those reasons include looks, but it’s better than “just because,” right? I don’t get how you can just like a wrestler without any rhyme or reason for it. This is almost as bad as people calling a wrestler they like cool. “I like him because he’s cool, you know?” No, I don’t know because that’s what I used to tell people as a compliment when I couldn’t think of anything else. Yeah, you’re cool, I guess.
Fake WWE Fan #7 – What’s A Storyline?
This kind of goes along with the first one, but here it is! I have encountered people that say they’re these major wrestling fans and that this guy is his favourite and whatnot, and then I ask them how they feel about the way this superstar is being used or how this championship is being handled, and they have no idea what I’m talking about. But I thought you were a fan? Oh, you don’t know any storylines, I thought you watched wrestling? This really annoys me because it’s like, why lie? I don’t get it, I really don’t.
These next three, I’m going to cluster together because they’re really similar.
Fake WWE Fan #8 – Yeah, That Guy!
Fake WWE Fan #9 – That One Move, You Know?
Fake WWE Fan #10 – That One Guy
There are people out there that ask me if “that one guy” still wrestles. Like what? Yeah, sure, that one guy. If you don’t know a superstar’s name, don’t talk about them! If you don’t know the name of a move, don’t talk about it! You know that one guy who does that one move? Yeah, you mean THE ENTIRE ROSTER? I seriously don’t understand how people can talk like this. “That one guy…” or “that one move..” just doesn’t cut it. There’s an endless amount of possibilities that it could be. I can’t have a conversation with people like that. I just give up so easily once those words come out of someone’s mouths.
Anyway, before I write for another like 8 hours, I’m going to stop here. If you’ve encountered any of these types of people, I’m sorry, because I understand. I hope you enjoyed this little rant in the style of a What We Envy… Thanks for reading all the way to the end if you did! I really appreciate it! I’ll be posting a lot more about WWE in the following few months, and I hope you return for those! Follow me on Twitter, @graveyardpxnk, for semi live tweets about WWE events, WWE storylines, rumors, and puppy videos!
“I pride myself on being a jerk because I’m brutally honest all the time!” – CM Punk
Outside the Brass Ring 